Why?

Why is it we want so badly to memorialize ourselves? Even while we’re still alive. We wish to assert our existence, like dogs peeing on fire hydrants. We put on display our framed photographs, our parchment diplomas, our silver-plated cups; we monogram our linen, we carve our names on trees, we scrawl them on washroom walls. It’s all the same impulse.

What do we get from it? Applause, envy, respect? Or simply attention, of any kind we can get?

At the very least we want a witness. We can’t stand the idea of our own voices falling silent finally, like a radio winding down.

- Margaret Atwood

The night you found me.

Ben & Jerry's Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream

After weeks of intensely craving and wishing for a taste of red velvet cake ice cream again -- Ben & Jerry's delivered. Easily accessible at our local Giant grocery store, too. BLISS!

The strange and seemingly serendipitous part of this all too delightful discovery yesterday, however, is that, mere minutes before instinctively heading over to the ice cream aisle, I was half-complaining, half-pondering to Manfriend why no one seemed to have mass-produced this flavor yet...

Et, voila. It's the little things, you know? New favorite, for sure.

PS. Hello, to the slew of recent passerbys to my blog, thanks to Google.

With wild flowers in your hair.

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Most people make their resolutions during the New Year, but I find that the first signs of Spring always bring with them a sense of rebirth and renewal that is more fitting to my own way of implementing new habits and changes.

After spending the larger part of this past winter season working hard and even harder towards my goals, I can now, figuratively and literally, sit back and watch things bloom; let down my hair, bask in the moment, and enjoy the fruits of our labor, soon.

Fly away Friday.

Friday afternoon and I am so antsy to get out of here. I pass by the airport Monday through Friday on my way into the office, but I haven't stepped on a plane since November. That's a long, long time not to be traveling anywhere.

The photo above is from one of the most sweetest travel blogs out there, Mr. & Mrs. Globe Trot. They just came back from a six-month stint around the world, but I am patiently waiting to see the rest of their photos and travel stories. Coincidentally, a friend is getting ready to embark on her own extended travels with her boyfriend soon as well, and I am so excited for her. Here's to hoping she updates often while on the road.

Ai-ai-gasa.

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I thought of my aunt today. My mother's sister, they could not be more different than night and day. I thought of her today; of how the last time we spoke, she held the phone to the wind, letting me hear the sound of the ocean waves crashing onto the shore. She was on vacation with her son and husband, their first trip together as a family in nearly a decade. I have to be really careful now, careful to never mention the words "Florida" and "Daytona Beach" so carelessly around my mother, who is still hurting, never to fully recover from her loss.

We lost my aunt to the sea that year. Painfully. Very unexpectedly. My cousin was eight at the time, and I always wonder, and pray, that he isn't still traumatized by the experience. He is such a courageous little boy. He has grown up to be such a little gentleman. I cried and held him when he recounted the story no one wanted to hear but needed to know.

I couldn't stop crying at her funeral. It was the first time I had lost someone so close to me, someone whom I cared for and loved and cherished and appreciated, with all my heart and soul. We had our differences, but what difference does it make when you don't get to hold them close anymore?

Ai-ai-gasa. Love-love-umbrella. While we carve out hearts and initials on trees, the Japanese declare their love on umbrellas. Umbrellas will shield you from the sun and keep you warm and dry from the rain. Rain or shine, they will save you when you need it the most.

You gave me so much when you were still in this life, Co Trang. I wish we were all there to protect you that day.

As Rihanna says, to let you stand under my umbrella.

Traveling Thursday: The Great Escape.

There is something magical in simple moments; the ordinariness of things. Like the very second I awake to Manfriend's soft goodbye kisses before he leaves in the mornings. Like the few minutes I take to stare at the ceiling, letting the familiar warmth of the bed cover and sheets hold on to me just a little longer; letting my body and mind slowly get used to conscious movement and thoughts again.

I'm just another girl trying to do something meaningful and beautiful in this lifetime of mine. Like the blue-green ocean; just another body of water with its rising waves and tides, but with its vast and endless horizon filled with possibilities.

I'll be reaching out to the sea this weekend, while the sands of Florida run through my fingers. And even though I will enjoy my time in the sun with my girlfriends, I will miss the touch and feel that is ineffably his the most.

{a few photos of my last whirlwind-of-a-weekend trip to Ormond Beach, FL two Springs ago}

Grieving.

I'm wearing all black today, my heart aching for Japan.

The tragic photos and videos keep pouring in, and the tears in my eyes keep threatening to come pouring down. But I am so taken with the calm and serene manner in which the Japanese people are dealing with the devastating situation these last few days, as if to tell Mother Nature that they will only become stronger, and better, after all this.

Because they will. Because they have. It is heartbreakingly inspiring, and the incredible surge of support worldwide only serves as more infallible proof that love, not war, really does make the world go 'round.

Sassy shoes and snazzy sunglasses.

Get connected: http://www.closetconnextion.com/.

More photos of me playing unofficial photographer here.

Beautiful people.

And their beautiful creations.

One of my favorite blogs comes from absolutely gorgeous, gorgeous NYC-based photographer, Jamie. Found below are bits of beauty for your Monday and upcoming week, From Me To You.

I am so restlessly excited for Spring to arrive. Among other things, I know my camera is dying to capture someone/something lovely.

The Creative Habit | Twyla Tharp

This book caught my eye last Thursday, while I browsed around, waiting for my new friend M to meet me for dinner at Kramers.

Love at first sight. Do you believe in the right books finding you at the right time? Because I always have.

Fantastic Friday.

I rode a rollercoaster's worth of emotional highs and lows this past week. It was bound to happen; deadlines looming, events culminating, unexpressed thoughts and feelings. I feel. Too much, too deeply, too passionately, sometimes. And sometimes, I turn into a monster in the process; a monster that only a mother (and best friend) (and most times the Manfriend) could love.

I've realized a few things, but I'm also realizing that I have been reluctant to spill my heart and guts out on such a public forum these days, despite the fact that I refer to this blog as my "personal" one. What a contradiction. Time for some inspiration.





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Laughter is the best medicine.

What a week I've had so far, both professionally and personally... but this cute little baby just put everything into perspective for me.

Laughin' it all off. (Or at least trying to.)

The bestest women.

I didn't want to hang up the phone. I hung on to their every word.

They never force me to feel anything other than what I am feeling at the moment. They'll let me cry, and then cry along with me. They'll make me laugh, but only when I am ready to. They'll call me out on my bullshit, even when I am too proud or stubborn to realize that I am lying to myself.

They are the bestest women, my mother and my best friend. I'm the luckiest.