There are the happy people of Bali. And then there's me.

One of the things that left such a deep impression on me during my time in Bali, was the strong, omnipresent sense of spirituality that guide the Balinese people in their everyday lives. Over 90% of the Balinese are Hindu, and their devotion to their religion is greatly apparent, no matter where you are on the island.

Temples with beautiful, spacious courtyards, and intricate sculptures were at every turn. The smell of incense permeated the air at every other hour, past every other corner. You could not take more than a few steps before you risked walking on some small offerings -- flowers, fruits, candy, and sometimes even cigarettes, tucked in little woven, leaf boxes on the ground or random sidewalk nooks.

It was all so wonderful to behold, and being able to witness the peaceful, gentle manner in which these people went about their daily, simple routines was truly a blessing. Despite their troubles, everyone I met seemed so content; so at ease, and at peace, with their place and role in the world.

This got me thinking about my own daily life back home, in the States, and how unhappy I've been for a very long time now. I was never really sure how, nor when, this chronic dissatisfaction started, exactly. I just knew that no matter how often I smiled or laughed out loud -- no matter how genuinely happy I was in that moment -- there was always the tiniest sense of emptiness; a hollowness that would echo back within me when the silence settled back down again deep down inside my core.

Reading a friend's recent blog entry made me realize that I, too, was an incredibly happy child who learned to create her own happy moments when times were less than ideal or sad. As I grew up, I never relied on anyone else to entertain me or comfort me when I was upset or frustrated. Now that I am an adult, I am sometimes accused of being "too independent", or "emotionally distant and cold", not allowing anyone to support me or help me when I need it the most. Sometimes, however, being strong is merely a cover up for weakness underneath. In my case, I let the stress and anxiety build up inside, and then it all comes out at the most inopportune moments. Misdirected anger. Uncontrollable crying, shaking, sobbing. In the past year or so, I started becoming someone I don't really recognize anymore.

First comes the awareness that the problem exists. Now comes the time for some major changes to take place.

It is so easy to forget that we are the only ones responsible for our own happiness. It is even easier to rely on other people or external factors as our primary source of joy. I may have just returned from an amazing trip abroad, but another journey is ahead of me now, one that needs to start from within.

Because happiness is a daily habit. And I intend to make it one of my best ones from now on.